Too Sick to Type

I have been sick for the past couple days with a virus, I'm not quite feeling better yet actually a little worse.

I have a had a busy week. Here are some of the wonderful things we did.

Easter Egg Hunt at the Aquatic Center
Detroit Zoo
Roller Skating at Preschool Skate
Romp and Stomp
Story Time
Little Kids Concert.

We have had the times of "our lives".

Right now im feeling to sick to type.

I will post later

love you all. God Bless

The Stay At Home Unemployed Mother

I've been really having a hard time lately and I now know the cause of it. It's that I really like I'm being torn apart. I have been unemployed for just over 6 months now, I have been really beating the internet pavement looking for jobs. This really causes some inner turmoil for me.  It's all because of my love of my son. I have absolutely loved and enjoyed being with him, and it makes me so sad to have to go back to work. Now, I am so sad because I know that every week could potentially be my last week with him. It is almost heartbreaking.  However, the flip side to this is that I have been applying for jobs for 6 months, without any real job coming my way. That means all of this inner turmoil is really for nothing.  It is very difficult. I love my son more than anything in this world, yet I need a job. 

The good way to think about it is now he is potty trained.  That means cheaper daycare, and I can now enroll him in an all day preschool. This will save us a ton of money! Truthfully, no matter how hard it has been being unemployed, I would not have given up this past 6 months for anything. I feel so incredibly blessed to be this handsome little man's mother. It is by far my favorite title in the world, Mommy. 

Truthfully, I can say that I didn't really know what real true love was until I had my son, but now when I look in his deep blue eyes and see that sparkle of happiness and love, nothing in this world can deny that. 
My husband and I have been trying to have another baby for the past 8 months, and nothing has really happened. I had two miscarriages, but both were in the first 7 weeks, which I don't know really counts or not.  I would love nothing more than to grow our family and hold our little babies in my arms. I wouldn't even care if it wasn't mine biologically. I don't care if its just someone else baby that needs someone to look after it. Nothing would give me greater joy than to give life to life. 

I would love to be a foster mother. The only thing is that right now we live in a two bedroom apartment. Three people and two cats is way more life than any two bedroom apartment should hold. I really want to get a house or a condo even if it is just for the fact to have another child or a foster child.  My heart is so full of love and I want to share it with any little person that might want it. 

I have been working on my samples for my online store. I have a shirt made and am working on a pair of high waisted linen shorts. It is really occurring to me that a lot of my stuff is going to look like it came from American Apparel. lol. Of course, they are my altered patterns and designs, but I am thinking that it fits in the same niche of clothing.  Which, I am good with because it gives me a window for an effective price point and a closer look on how to market my store. 

I am a woman of few words the past couple of days. Here are the things that I am thankful for (in no particular order) :

1. My sewing machine
2. My hard working husband
3. My sweet baby boy
4. My kitties
5. My family
6. My friends
7. The money in the bank
8. The food on the table
9. A place to live
10. The overflowing happiness in my life
11. To be a mother
12. To share my life with other people
13. For my ability to wear my heart on my sleeve
14. For those who have touched my life
15. For my car
16. For my instrument and music
17. For this computer and my phone
18. For being in love
19. For having so many blessing in my life
20. For my family's happiness
21. That I only had two spelling errors when I typed it up.

God bless! And if you read this, please say a prayer for my family

Just a day to be thankful

I have a busy day today! I feel much better. I will post later.

The things that I am thankful for:

1. My Little Man's love of soccer
2. The excellent homemade BBQ Chicken Pizza I made last night.
3. My hardworking hubby.
4. My ability to speed read
5. My family
6. All of the food in my refridgerator.
7. The phone
8. My friends
9. That I am an excellent cook
10. For my online shop that I am opening
11. Suze Orman's books
12. For the book, "the World's cheapest family"
13. All the wonderful people in my life
14. That little man likes swimming
15. That we get to go to parent appreciation day at the library
16. For all of our blessings
17. For money to pay our bills
18. That my LM loves hugs and kisses
19. For the ability to relax
20. That I no longer need meds

Down and Out

I'm feeling a liittle bit downt right now. I think it's because I have applied for all of these jobs, and still yet I do not get any call backs or anything. I got one rejection e-mail. This one was really nice the HR representative from the company said that she is sympathetic and that she was laid off for 2 years. The whole job search thing is really getting me down. I need to stop right now before I get depressed and not want to look for a little while. I will just make it a point to look again on monday.

My class got canceled again because again they didnt promote it. I understand that the guy is busy adding new franchises (five of them), but what am I doing holding out ready to do this and then I get no respect? I was going to go in this afternoon, but if they don't have a class for me then I will just wait for another day. It's not worth it to bother everyone to watch Little Man.

This morning I was just so out of it. I have felt so tired. I just let Little Man play in his room. I just sat on his bed and relaxed. I think this stupid weather has something to do about it. It's 30 degree outside again. I was so happy for spring time.

This afternoon I have to take my little kitty to the vet to get her shots. That will be fun, and LM always likes going to the vet with me. I just need to get out of this funk. I think I need a break from him after watching him for so long straight and being stuck in the house by myself. I need to get out and do something for me all by my lonesome.  This Mama needs a break.

I have yet to clean and pay my bills, I will clean when I get done blogging.  I am currently in the process of starting an online store for my mod clothing designs. Currently, I am hosting it at jimdo.com or something like that. The website is very unfriendly so I going to have to change to another option that is much faster. My hosting site is very important, I need what works best with my skill level.

That's all I got for right now, as always if you see this, please say a prayer for me and my family. God Bless!

The Sheen of White Suburbia

Hello world! Welcome to a new day. The sun is shining, what could be better?

I almost finished reading the book, "The World's Cheapest Family, Gets Your Right On The Money," by the Economides family.  It was a really easy read and I tore through 260 pages in about 2 hours. I actually have really enjoyed this book. It is authored by a husband and wife team effort, both of which have the same writing style as I do. There are so many eye opening facts in the book about the enormous pile of debt that Americans faced, especially before our current depression. The book was written in 2007, and is kind of like peering into the economic window right before everything collapsed. The facts are staggering such as in 1982 Americans had 70 Billion dollars worth of debt altogether. In 2006 Americans had almost 800 billion dollars! 800 billion! The average house size in the past 30 years went from around 1700 sq ft to just over 2700 sq ft. I wish the president would have read this book when it was written, I think that a lot of things would have been different. "Dear Mr.President, Please read the book The World's Cheapest Family."

Every since we went BK just over a year ago, I have been trying to find some kind of budget system to help us build our saving up. This year has been especially hard because one month my husband worked over 50 hours a week and only brought home $850.  With my unemployment, that's $2000 monthly income. That's not really enough to support our family of three without any assistance with our student loans and car bills. This book really gave me a more simple way of budgeting called "emergency room" budgeting. This is where you don't spend any  extra money for a whole month, and then begin a system of only keeping in the bank what you need to write checks for. Then they have an envelope system where they put their monthly allowance of expenditures in each envelope in cash. I think I am going to try this. It requires a lot of set up and planning expenses every paycheck, but I think that it might get us back on track. I highly recommend that anyone who wants to learn about budgeting family money (especially for large families) to read this book. It's easy to read and packed full of great antidotes.

Yesterday we went to feed the ducks with a few extra slices of bread that we had left over from a clearance loaf.  The weather was a chilly 30 degrees and the geese and ducks were hungry. We first feed this large majestic pair of swans. They were beautiful and polite. Then we went down the walk a little further to where the ducks and geese where. It quickly got aggressive after a large Canadian Goose bit a piece of bread out of Little Man's hand and the rest of the gaggle of geese started to encroach around us. We quickly just dropped the rest of the bread and left. The geese just flown in from being south, so I am just going to say that they are HUNGRY.

I wanted to make this special mozzarella chicken breast ciabbata for dinner, but alas ciabbata is another product that is not available in my town. The local bread bakery that bakes artisan breads here said that I can call in the day ahead and they can make any bread that I wanted. I also stopped by Panera, and no ciabatta there either. I'm pretty sure that I am saying the word "ciabatta" wrong. The lady at the artisan bakery said you mean, "shhhaaaabaaaataaa?" I said yes. I think that's what she said, I will have to google it. I ended up giving up and purchasing a loaf of the most delicious brown sugar cinnamon swirl bread that I have ever tasted. Needless to say, I made some wicked bomb french toast last night.

When we got home we played hide and seek in our apartment. It really consisted of LM staying in the same place and hiding, and me hiding in different places in a hurry in case LM decided to count to 13 instead of 20.  It was a ton of fun. After that we played with our potato heads, and settled down before bed time.

Our local aquatic center just added a 3 and 4 year old swim class for next month, so I signed up Little Man. He loves swimming, and just reinforcing his love makes him incredibly happy. Soccer starts in a week, and it should be a lot of fun. I have to go in today and pick up his uniform, and get his pads and a number 3 ball. I can't wait to snap his little picture in his uniform and text it to everyone. LOL. 

Today we have a few things to do. It is the 25th, which means that I have to write out our monthly bills.  That means I have to reconcile our bank accounts, and pay our money to the man.  I am probably one of the last people that writes out checks, but I find it really cathartic to write the checks out and put stamps on the envelopes.  It helps me to feel the money going out. We also have to take our Little Kitty into the Vet for her one year check up.  My Little Kitty is soo big tooo! Then pick up our uniform. 

Last night I had another dream about Charlie Sheen. We met once again, and we were once again madly in love. I have no idea what is firing in my head to create these dreams, but they make me feel good so I'm not going to complain. This one we were just living life together. I'm pretty sure that this time we went to Cedar Point.

Anyways, there are other things that I am thankful for today besides my Charlie Sheen dreams, here they are:

1. For all of these great books I get to read
2. For my wonderful son
3. For deciding to do the Pet Smart Health Plan
4. For the food on my table
5. For a roof over my head
6. For my lovely friends
7. For my family
8. That a new swim class was added
9. That soccer is starting very soon!
10. That there is a bakery that I can get all my wierdo gourmet bake goods that I want
11.  For the Economides Family writing such a good book. God bless you guys!
12. My smart Little Man
13. Money to pay the bills
14. Extra money to spend on whatever
15. For the job openings that I can apply for
16. For the interwebs
17. For the sunshining
18. For the gift of being a  mother
19. For all of the kind people out there
20. For a moment in time to relax and renew.

Thank you for viewing this blog and God bless. If you read this, please say a little prayer for my family.

Why Charlie, What Big Eyes You Have!

Today has been a poor grumpy day for Little Man. I have been trying to half way break this little two year old attitude that he has going on. He needs to know now that he has to listen even though he is getting bigger and can do things for himself.
The morning started off with having half an hour to go to the doctor's office. I did the unfortunate thing of telling him before hand that he was going to go and have the last of his shots.  He didn't want to go. He wanted to 'put on his own shoes' which really meant that he wanted to take  30 minutes putting on each shoe. I ended up wrestling him down and putting his shoes and coat on. We made it to the doctor just in time, and Little Man got his shots. He cried a lot this time, and did a little bit of failing.  We had to hold him down, my sweet angel. He earned a sticker and sucker for his duties, and he seemed completely satisfied by that. 
After the doctor, I stopped by the gas station and got my gas station nasty cappuccino fix, and got my brave little solider a donut. But something happened at the gas station- they no longer had my pumpkin spice cappuccino! Oh man, I didn't say anything, but I think next time I will. I don't want that other gross cappuccino stuff- I want my pumpkin spice. I know it's no longer October, but pumpkin spice can be an all year thing.
When we got home, we played with our cars a little bit, and my mother called. I talked to my mother for some time. She was upset because she just got her taxes done and they made just enough money where they wouldn't be getting much of a tax refund next year. This year, they are still going to get over $3,000 which is great. I told her just to relax, and to if she was worried to get a one year CD for next year's taxes.  We talked about everything that had been going on, I told her about all of my adventures that I post on this blog. It was a good and fulfilling chat.
I made my LM some chicken noodle soup for lunch and a big glass of milk. He was hungry and a bit sleepy after I had just spent a good 30 minutes tickling him and asking him to walk on my back (he is the perfect weight to get those kinks out, lol.) I gave him some Motrin for the shots that he had just received and had him take a nap/rest. 
I had a lot of cleaning work to catch up on and made this list covered with to do's anywhere from wash the windows to call the vet.  I got most of it done. Hoorah! It took me about an hour to do most of the cleaning. I will do some vacuuming when I put my LM to sleep tonight so that I know that it looks especially clean for when big daddy comes home.
Last night I had the most bizarre dream. I had a dream where I was at this large grand all inclusive water park resort (larger than Kalahari the largest indoor in the country where we usually go.)  At some point at the dream I met Charlie Sheen and we started this whole love affair.  It was so crazy. The funny part of it is as the dream progressed, he slowly started turning into a monkey.  Then all of the sudden in my dream- WHOOOSSSH-  a tsunami. Everything was washed away include my sweet Charlie.  When I caught up with Charlie later on he was then a full capuchin monkey. The funny part is in my dream I had to make sure it was Charlie Sheen so I asked him, "Hey Charlie, would you like to do some lines of coke?" In response to which the monkey jumped right up on my shoulder and hugged me around the neck. I wish a dream analyst could take a look at that one! He he.
I received my box of 1960's and 1970's patterns in the mail! Hoorah! I opened it up and it smells like moth balls, but what can I really expect from a box of patterns that has survived close to 50 years.  I need to go out and purchase a scanner so that I can start scanning them and making a website. I need a scanner/printer. Maybe they have one at Salvation Army that I can pick up really cheap. I am very excited, and the patterns are so cute! It is funny how everything comes back into style.
I sent a message to my gardening class sponsors, they have yet to really start promoting my class, so that means that it is yet another no go for the weekend. I am going to stop in there tomorrow and have them show me how to set up the systems. I am really excited to do this, and I will wait as long as needed for these classes to begin. I know that the owner has just set up 5 new shops, which is amazing. I am going to tell him tomorrow that I want to open up a head shop just down the block, and see what he says. You never know, he might see around the joke, and just go for it! Anyways, I am going to go in there tomorrow and check everything out. 
I am going to take my sweet bitty kitty into the vet tomorrow. Hopefully she doesn't get fleas from it like she did the last time. I think that I will just give both of my cats baths either tonight or tomorrow morning just in case.  I DO NOT want to deal with another case of fleas again. That was SOOO gross. They wereSOOO gross. They were everywhere and I was physically disgusted for a few weeks after that. I can't believe that I really didn't notice them until it was a full outbreak. GROSSS.
Anyways, now I have a few errands to run like return some shirts and drop off some dry cleaning. I hope that you have a very excellent rest of the day. And if you have read this, please say a prayer for my family. God bless!

The Forcast Calls for Love

I spent all afternoon cooking, then cooking, and then doing a just little more cooking. It just made me so happy to make some pretty delicious food. My slow cooker BBQ Ribs and Beans turned out phenomenal. I am so happy. They were tasty and the meat was falling right off of the bone.  My homemade mashed potatoes were the perfect potato chunk/mashed potato consistency. Everything was delicious. We didn't have time to eat our Shoo Fly Pie, or our salads, which is fine.

I have to take little man in for the rest of his shots.  He was so behind because Hubby didn't want him to get any shots, especially when we were separated.  Today will be his last round to get caught up. Thank goodness. I hate seeing him get shots, but I hate the fact that he could get sick even more.

I remember his very first shots when he was a little bitty baby. He was a little 9 lb bitty bundle of love.  He cried so hard. The little look on his little baby face was of sheer horror. I cried my eyes out, of course. I just couldn't help it. I had given my son his first experience of pain.  His face was all purple red and his little eye brow line was furled as high as it could.  Poor bitty man.

I am going to tell LM about the shots before he goes in today so that he knows what is going on once he gets in there. I am just happy for him to be healthy. I went in when we first got on MI Child insurance for uninsured parents middle class parents, he had a bad sinus infection, which kept on getting worse from going to a new daycare (new germies everywhere.) The doctor gave me a stank face because he was never vaccinated for whooping cough. I think when my Hubby and I were first married, I just kind of let him do his own thing (I did sneak in some shots), but now I really take a stand for what is correct.  I don't want my little boy to get sick with something like the measles because I was afraid that he was going to get another disease that he won't get.

Yesterday at Romp and Stomp, Little Man had so much fun. They had tricycles and push cars, tunnels, slides- everything a little boy could think of. LM has never gotten a chance to ride a tricycle because we live in the great white north and you can't really ride a tricycle in the snow.  He got right on and started riding around. He loved it. He was chasing his little friend around the gymnasium in the car, and they took turns deciding where to go. 

Hubby didn't want to stop by on the way home from work, because he usually doesn't want to do anything after work except relax.  He even called me and told me that there was no way that he was going to come out. Then he started asking me why they didn't want to come over for dinner.  I was like because it was going to be to late! Relax! Then he kept on asking me. I wanted to say, how come your not coming to play with your son and your friends, but I didn't.  Stupid questions shouldn't have to be followed with stupid questions. 

Then it happened- I saw him come through the gym door. I was soo happy.  Hubby was happy to see his friends too.  We watched the classroom and the little guys dance. It was so much fun.

When we got home we ate dinner, then watched some mindless TV, I don't remember what it was because I feel asleep as soon as I hit the couch.

I have some things I got to do today. I have to return a set of shirts and the dress shirt that I got for my husband and Marshalls. The shirt is too big and he only needed one type of undershirts. I say it's better to be safe than sorry with him. He really isn't having a good week.  I have to take Little Man to the library. I would really like to concentrate on just staying at home and playing all day. I think he needs that after being run around for the past few days.  Because according to Mr. Rogers, playing is how children learn to deal with things around them by acting out things in their own lives with their toys.

Little Man has had a major attitude the past two weeks, I need to just stay at home with him the next couple days and work with him, and see what I can do for him (and me).  

These are the things that I am thankful for today:

1. That we had so much fun playing last night
2. That we got invited to go and play last night
3. For my Hubby coming in and playing with us
4. For the bomb food last night
5. For my sweet little kitty who wanted nothing but LURVE today
6. For it not to snow despite the weather forecast.
7. For a warm house
8. For food on the table (delicious food)
9. For lights and heat and power
10. For my car
11. That I am blessed with such a wonderful family
12. For all of the wonderful people I am going to hang out with
13. That I am able to live without anti-depressants
14. That I have clothes on my back
15. That my eBay auctions made a little bit of change
16. For the blessing of being able to teach my son
17. For my parents always being there
18. For the Michigan Lottery- I will win you!
19. For the gas in my car.
20. For being blessed with good health
21. For being in good shape
22. For being able to enjoy life.
23. For this blog.

I hope for any viewers, that you have a wonderful day. God bless. And if you have read this, please say a little prayer for my family! God Bless!!

Moving at the Speed of Light

I've had a busy day today! I set up a meeting to go roller skating with Little Man next week, schedule all of the stuff for the Romp and Stomp tonight with his little friend. I started my BBQ ribs and beans in the slow cooker, went to the store to get the stuff to make a Shoo fly pie.  We also went to the store and got some socks, undershirts, and a dress shirt for Hubby. I think the dress shirt is going to be too big around the neck, and if it is I'll just return it. 
I also got my old cell phones ready to ship off for eBay, which actually involved a lot of work like removing all my pictures off onto an SD card, transferring files, deleting them, printing off labels, all that wondrous stuff.
I called daycare and got an e-mail address to send my request for the tax deduction form. I called the vet to schedule Little Kitty's shots and dewormer, but they were closed.  I called and schedule Little Man to get the rest of his shots so that he is update for tomorrow.  I looked up his soccer league and decided on his next swim class!
Unfortunately, our friends are going to be able to make it for dinner, which is alright. I will just have some left overs of these delicious ribs and molasses pie! Yum! I sent Hubby a text to tell him that he could invite a few friends over tonight if he wanted. 
I called my mom and dad to schedule to come over there and visit them, they weren't home so I left a message. I also sent an e-mail to my indoor gardening class sponsor, and have yet to get a response. I think something might be slim shady here.
Anyways, sorry for my posts being so short the past couple of days, I have been so busy trying to get everything done.  Everything will slow down in the next couple of days, and I will be able to carry on with all of my stories.
Tonight should be a lot of fun playing with all the little guys! I am so excited. And the fact that Hubby is going to come and meet up with us makes it even better!  Yay!
My patterns from eBay have officially shipped.  That means that I am one step closer to my online store. I have also been thinking about my non-profit. I either want to do something where young girls and boys can learn how to cook and sew (they need it, seriously!), or do something related with gardening. It has to be something close to my heart. 
Anyways, I got to go to the post office and drop off these eBay packages. I need a new printer, so I have to drive all the way down there to do the shipping deed. 
I hope that all my viewers have a great day, and if you read this, please say a little prayer for my family.

A Day Full of Love

Yesterday Little Man and I had a blast playing at our friends house. His little friend, T, was a little grumpy today, but when you're 3 years old sometimes its hard to control your emotions.  LM and T had so much fun all day. I stayed there for the majority of the day and just had a ton of fun.

We played the Cootie Game, cars, tossed the ball, went for a little walk, and ate lunch. 

Oh no, it was just announced that Elizabeth Taylor just died. She really was a loved woman. It makes me want to watch her old movies, which I don't think that I have seen any.  It's amazing that there are so many classics that I have yet to see. I feel happy that now I get the opportunity to watch them all on cable.  I did used to wear her perfume, White Diamonds.

Our friends invited us to go with them to a local Rump and Stomp that they have every Wednesday night where little guys are let loose in a gym and they can play with balls and just have a great time!  I think that I will go, and invite them over for dinner tonight. I am going to make slow cooked BBQ Ribs and beans tonight with a baked potato, salad, cornbread, and some make a cheese. Bomb. I hope that they will want to come over for some of my bomb dinner.

My Hubby stopped over at his friends house last night, and his wife and I are going to go skating next week. It should be a lot of fun. I can't wait to hang out with her. She really is just a fun person to be around. We are going to take our little boys to preschool skate and then hang out afterwards. LM is going to love it! Oh, I can't wait to tell him (next week, lol.)

I sent an Easter card to my aunt and to Hubby's grandmother. I have yet to call my aunt, which makes it even worse, but maybe I can call her in a week. I really need to call her. Maybe I can just rip off the bandaid and just do it. The longer I wait, the more apprehensive I get about the whole thing.

My parents want me to come out and visit them sometime this week. Maybe I can come over Monday of next week and then hang out with my friend A while our men work late slanging their wares. I have been saving my left over meals for them and freezing them.  It's not that they aren't capable of cooking, but in their hoarding habits, they have been officially gone to a class five and no longer have running water in their house. It's crazy, I can't believe that they would want to live that way. The house that they live in isn't worth that much money, but the property that their house is on is worth a small fortune. I think that they should just sell and move into a little ranch house. However, that is bad to say because I could never think of taking there home from them. Their house and all of their junk. I have offered everytime to help them clean up whatever they would want me to help with, but they won't have it.  I can't have them watch LM or anything. I don't even like to be in their house for more than 5 minutes.

Anyways I have about a weeks worth of one and two portion  frozen meals.  I hope that they will actually eat them and not neurotically think that something might be wrong with them because I own cats or something crazy like that. Who knows.  They have some crazy thinking patterns sometimes. My mom ate the frozen meals that I gave her last week while my father was away, I hope that this can continue.  I will call her on monday and schedule a visit out there and then a visit out there with A. Yay!

I need send an e-mail and confirm that everything is on for my indoor gardening class tomorrow.  I also need to go in there and have them set up their systems for me so that I can I demonstrate for everyone. I also need them to pick out some keys products that they recommend work best for everything.  I plan on buying my husband a surprise TV with the money! He would be so happy! That's all I ever want to do is make him happy.

I have to call and get my tax info from daycare, set up a tax appointment, package up my eBay items while LM is taking a nap today, leave feedback, visit the post office, and call my parents. We have the playgroup tonight, and hopefully Hubby's friends over for dinner.  I also have to get my Hubby some new undershirts, socks, and maybe a new dress shirt.  That is a day of blessing right there. I am just so happy that I have so much that I can do today.

These are the things that I am thankful for today:

1. For such a wonderful time yesterday with friends
2. For such a hardworking husband
3. For my class I am teaching on Saturday
4. For the money I have for the errands I have to run
5. For enough food to share with other people.
6. That I get to hang out and roller skate with my friend next week
7. That I can freeze dinners and give them to my parents
8. For a wonderful little boy who amazes me everyday.
9. For the sweetest kitties I get to take care of
10. For a clean house
11. For such a bomb phone
12. That I actually got a couple good sales off of eBay this time
13.  For the love of my family and friends
14. For a good car to drive!
15. For all the money that I have to pay the bills with.
16. For the love of life.
17. For all of the kind people I talk to everyday
18. For the music I get to play.
19. For the clothes on my back
20. For a roof over my head.

I hope that if you read this that you have a blessed day. If you read this, please say a little prayer for my family.

I'm the New Rock Star in Town

Yesterday was so much. I feel so blessed to have such a sweet Little Man. He (and his daddy) are really what helps make my world so bright.  After his nap/rest time we took out the garbage. As we got back to our door from the dumpster, LM asks me if we can "go get a snack." Which really means that he wants to either go get donuts or ice cream. I think about it for a second and decide that it sounds like much more fun than sitting in our house for the next 5 or 6 hours until Hubby come home. 

On the way to Dairy Queen to get a ice cream cone, I stopped by the gas station and got two purple Rockstar energy drinks. The purple ones are by far my favorite! I wanted some caffeine so bad! I was so happy and satisfied.

I was so satisfied that I even walked to the Dairy Queen window totting my energy drink can. The girl that worked as cashier did a funny double take. I think she was checking to see if were really a can of something more potent like beer.  Either way, I'm sure that I looked kind of trashy walking around with a can of purple Rock Star.Wisteria Lane where I live is just a different kind of pretentious place. Ha ha. I still think its funny.

It was a little too cold to eat outside, so we went back to the Escape and ate our ice cream inside of the car.  I didn't get a cone because I was blowing all my calories for the day on those energy drinks. Inside the car I was sharing fairy tales with Little Man like Goldilocks. He loves it when I tell him stories instead of just read them to him. He gets all excited and his eyes get big, especially when I get to the part when the bears come home and notice Goldilocks in Baby Bear's bed.

We went for a walk around the Mill Pond area, and then spent some time playing on the playground.LM loves the tire swing, and this tire swing is really optimally made. With little effort you can have this thing turn into the Matterhorn at Six Flags.  He sat there and wanted me to spin him for five minutes, where out of concern for him, I stopped swinging him around.

On the way to the playground from Dairy Queen

I met a really  nice lady at the park, who had a little boy that was 16 months old.  He was so cute, and it reminded me of when my LM was that small. Time really goes by to fast.

I made BBQ pulled pork last night with the pork carnitas recipe I split in half. It was so delicious. It had a little bit of kick to it because I used the infamous Famous Dave's Extra Hot Blue Ribbon BBQ sauce with just some standard hickory flavor, that and I used jalapenos when I made the pork carnitas.

Today we have a play date with little R and his Mama T, who is the nicest lady in the entire world. Honestly, she is one of the most kind people I have ever met and I feel so blessed to be her friend. LM is so excited to go play with little R, who is only three months older. T just had a birthday, so I think I am going to stop at the market and bring her some flowers.  Flowers make every day bright!

My eBay items are ending today, I know that I am going to make a least a little bit of money this time.  Last time I somehow just broke even after all of the fees from EBay.com and Paypal, seriously.  This time, I know that it is going to be much better.

Today should really be a great fun day.  We're probably going to play until 2 or so, then come home so LM can rest. Then I can finalize all of my EBay auctions, and package them up and get them on the road for my customers. I am excited about getting all of my patterns and posting them on the web!  Initially, it might be a little bit of work, but it is going to be really sweet!

I have to call LM old daycare and get a form for our taxes so that Hubby and I can finally get all of that mess over with.  Today is going to be a wonderful day, I just know it!

These are the things that I am thankful for today:

1. Wonderful friends for LM and Mama to play with
2. The sweetest little boy that I have ever met
3. Food on our table
4. Lights, gas, and cable
5. For this blog
6. For the library where I can check out books and learn
7. For not having Facebook- what a waste of time!
8. Such a cool Ford Escape to drive
9. Money to share with friends
10. A full class this weekend so that I can buy my Hubby a TV
11. That I can surprise my Hubby with a new big TV :)
12. For my hardworking Hubby
13. For learning how to cook!
14. For all of my friends
15. For emergency unemployment
16. For all the jobs that are finally opening up
17. For a clean apartment
18. That my father in law is looking for house for us, and will help us get one
19. For a wonderful mother in law
20. For watching Steve Martin's blue grass band last night on Colbert Report
21. For the opportunity to learn a folk instrument
22. For the warm green earth.
23. For the kindness of strangers
24. That I can in return be kind to strangers
25. For all of the love in my life

There you have it! I hope that any viewer has a blessed day, and please say a little prayer for my little family!

No Go jalapeno Flo!

I'm dying right now for a nice hot cappuccino. The only thing is that I'm not dying for a Starbucks, or even a local barista made cappuccino- right now I would love one of those cheap gas station vending machine pumpkin spice cappuccinos. Those things are very addictive.

This morning we made it out to Meijer and picked up a few items. They still did not have my jalapeno jelly that I needed for my spicy shrimp fettuccine that I wanted to make for dinner tonight. They only vegetable kind of jellies that were green and red pepper.

I did pick up some heads of garlic on sale 5 for $2. I use about a head and a half of garlic a week, so that should get me through the month almost.

We went to the card store and picked up some cards for my Aunt and my Hubby's Grandma for Easter.  My labeled Hallmark card wouldn't scan, and I had to wait for the manager to input the bar code into the computer to complete my purchase. I did have a nice talk with the gentleman cashier about how reading books is an expensive habit. The lady in line in front of me was buying Nicorette gum, and the cashier was talking about how expensive reading has become. It's completely true. A good friend of mine in Lansing, who loves to read, has to budget out her book allowance every month. She told me that first time that she got her Kindle she went way over board in purchasing books (because it was such an easy online transaction) that she had read $300 in books in one month. That's a lot of reading!

I was trying to list some items on Ebay.com after splurging on this lot of 50 patterns from the 60's and 70's. I just couldn't help it, they have some really cool patterns. I would like to scan all of the patterns, and edit them in Corel Draw and start a professional costumer website for these clothes. I would like it were the customer could pick out the fabric, pick out the outfit, send in measurements and three weeks later I could send out the costume! That would be so much fun! I would also have send back tailoring if wanted. It would just be so much fun. I really wouldn't charge much of a premium. I was thinking though that I would probably have to have size restrictions, like maybe 4-6-8? I don't know if that would be discriminative, and I don't know what size that most people wear either. That would be so much fun to do though to do.

I really can't tell at this point if its my Little Man or if it's me being grumpy. I am really trying hard to hold on to my happiness today, but all of my buttons are being pushed. I tried to list a few unwanted things on Ebay.com this morning, but my Little Man would not have it and began taking things apart, and taking the stuff around that I needed and just generally acting up. When I took him to the store he was also acting up.  It got worse when I took him to the card shop, he was all out grumpy then.  When I got home instead of going ape shit on him, I just made him go to his room and let me settle down for a few minutes. I really think that he just has a lot of energy right now and he needs to go out and run around. Maybe it will stop raining for a little while today so that we can go outside and maybe go for a short walk. I think that is what he might need.

Me on the other hand, I need a big cup of caffeine. I went to bed at a reasonable time last night, it's just that I feel so out of it today.  I think that after I write this that I need sometime to sit down and relax and maybe read a little bit more of my books. 

I filled out my paperwork to extend my unemployment benefits under the UIA. It takes a couple weeks for them to go through. I hope that nothing happens to delay this, those benefits really come in handy! I haven't received any calls or e-mails yet today from the applications that I filled out. I am just going to lay low today on the job search and look again on Wednesday. On Saturday while Hubby was at the haunted sanitarium I did a job search only to come with what I had already seen.

I guess for the rest of the day that I am going to take about an hour to myself and drink some green tea.  I have to do a little bit of picking up. I have to figure out what I have to do tonight to substitute jalapeno jelly for something. I might just have to add a whole jalapeno. Then I would like to go for a walk with Little Man around our neighborhood, stop get a vending machine cappuccino, and take it easy. Hubby doesn't come home until after 9 pm tonight. This means I got to find a couple extra fun things to do with Little Man tonight to keep him occupied. I think we will work on his new Spongebob puzzle from Target (those $1 bins are awesome!), color a picture, work on our letters and numbers, play with animals and cars, play with a little music today, and weather permitting blow some bubbles!

Tomorrow is library day, I am going to take him to the small group class that he hasn't been to in some time.  I hope that he really likes it. I am sure that he will.

I need to call a couple people that I haven't talked to in a while and see how they are doing.  I need to send out the Easter Cards, and of course take it easy and look on the bright side. I need to do not too much, not to little, just right :).  Woosah Mama. Woosah.

I hope that if you have read this that you have a blessed day. Thank you for stopping by! And also, if you did read this, please say a little prayer for my family.

Leave It to the Rain

Hubby came home surprisingly early yesterday at around 2 or 3 pm. Even though there weren't any ghost sitings at his over night at the haunted sanitarium, he said that there might have been a couple things. He also said that there were probably 30 people there altogether that made knowing for sure if it were ghost or visitor a little more difficult. I am so happy to have him home.  I can tell that he had such a great time, and I am very happy that he did.

I had a really hard time sleeping without him. I went to bed around midnight after watching a whole bunch of chick shows On Demand, and my bed was so cold. I stuck my butt out as I always do, and there wasn't another warm butt sticking out to meet it. I was so happy when he came home.  I had missed him so much.

On Sunday Morning, we went to the grocery store equipped with my list. It's funny because I really love cooking from scratch which means I always have to make a list. My favorite recipe site of all time is myrecipes.com.  I love it because they have the perfect match of light and gourmet recipes.  I have learned a few things since I really started cooking full time from scratch about 6 months ago and that is sometimes its hard to find all of the ingredients.

Here in the Great White North, its sometimes hard for me to find herbs like fresh basil or coriander. It's not just the herbs though its other small things like jalapeno jelly and special noodles.  I guess there are other options for me finding the correct ingredients. I go to Kroger which is a medium sized market here in Wisteria Lane.  There are several specialty grocery stores such as fresh and organic markets. However, these places have a premium on all of their products (which makes sense because they probably only sell 10 jars of jalapeno jelly a year if they are lucky :) .) I try to improvise whenever I can, like for example instead of buying a $6.50 five ounce jar of sun dried tomato pesto, I decided to use sun dried tomato vinaigrette and the pesto I already had. It works just the same, if it doesn't then maybe I can learn how to make different kinds of pesto. There is a Meijer just a couple minutes down the street, but I don't like going there because the store is so big.  It gets really frustrating going through all of the shelves and aisles and masses of people to try to find what I'm looking for. I think my search for jalapeno jelly might actually take me Meijer today, and then the Fresh Market as a last resort. 

I love cooking spicy food and the majority of my weekly menu consists of Mexican, Caribbean, Central and South American recipes. I would look to learn how to cook Brazilian food. However, if I were to open a restaurant, I would open up a Southern Cuisine, then maybe I could mix some Tex Mex in there too :).  I would have blue grass and folk musicians come in and play several times a week, and it would just be a laid back fun environment- with real sweet tea! I know that Justin Timberlake has a similar restaurant, Southern Hospitality, which I would love to visit one day.  I think the closest one is in New York, or maybe Atlanta. I might be equidistant to both of them.

My Little Man has a favorite pair of Curious George pajamas where the bottoms still fit but the top is too large. I cut out the sleeves and am making a snake. I sewed the two sleeves together and sewed on a brown ribbon tongue and two button eyes.  It's so cute. I need to get some more dried beans to fill him up, but every time I look at it, I think how incredibly cute he is! The two little slightly mis-match button eyes are what really does it for me. I will post a picture when I complete the project.

The other day I was wondering where I get my vocabulary (the big word part, not the swearing.) Then I finally figured it out. It's my father. I was talking to him about his recent cruise to Mexico, and he described the decor of the ship as ostentatious.  I don't even know that means, but I'm assuming that means really nice. ha ha.  My father did go to seminary, maybe vocabulary was a large part of that back in the 70's? I have no idea.

After our trip to the grocery store yesterday, Little Man and came home and did a little cleaning up before Hubby came home.  I started my pork roast for carnitas, and cleaned some of our windows. After my Hubby came home, we watched the movie Air Heads, which was funny. It was fun to see so many famous actors and actresses before they were famous like- Adam Sandler. I really enjoyed watching the movie. 

I have decided to let the whole thing go about Hubby not telling me why one of his best friends got a divorce. He probably didn't tell me because he was embarrassed, and I don't want to further yell and embarrass him about it. 

Today is going to be a great day.  We are watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, then I have to go back out and find those few things that I couldn't find on my shopping list before. I want to stop by the fabric store too and get a pattern for an apron I wanted to make. Better yet, I should check on Ebay.com for it, I hate spending $15 on a pattern.  I can wait a week and half for a pattern. I have the fabric already, cute little cartoon lobsters with matching red and white gingham. It's so cute together. I will be so happy when I get everything put together. It is raining out today which puts a damper on things, but I would still like to find some kind of fun craft project for us to do today.Then reinforcing our letters and counting up to 30.  I think that is a good schedule.  It would also be nice to go to the Red Box and see if there is a family movie that Little Man and I would like to watch together.

I sent my resume out to 5 or 6 places that I would actually love to work at on Friday. I will see if I get any call/e-mail backs.  I would love to work at any of these places.  This would mean that my domestic lifestyle would soon come to an end, but I am have enjoyed it so much that the memory alone will make me happy.  I have been dragged through the trenches and made it through the other side. Hoorah! Speaking of applying for jobs, I received a letter saying that I have to call and extend my unemployment into the emergency fund. I will make a point of doing that today. 

I am so happy for this sunny week! The weather will be beautiful. Thank God.

These are the things that I am thankful for today:
1. The wonderful time I had at the skating party
2. The wonderful time I had hanging out with my mother in law
3. That my father returned back to Mexico safe and had a great time
4. That my mom had a great time relaxing without my father
5. That my kitties are so cute and lovable
6. For all of the food in my kitchen.
7. For all of the money that I have in the bank
8. That soon the sun will come out for good
9. That its almost time to start visiting all of the state parks
10. For all of my wonderful friends including C and A.
11. That I have the ability to cook, which I love.
12. For lights, heat, and running water
13. That the sunshine brightens my mood
14. That I am blessed with such a wonderful family
15. That my five year goals are obtainable
16. That I can really do anything I put my mind too
17. That I have been so blessed with loving people around me.
18. For my Aunt who has always been there for me ( I will send her a card today)
19. For my wonderful Ford Escape that I love to drive!
20. For everyone that I talk to that blesses my life

I hope that everyone has a wonderful day, and if you are reading this that you say a prayer for my family and I.

Refreshed.

I had so much fun today! I truly feel loved right now. This morning Little Man and I went to McDonald's for breakfast. I ordered hot cakes and oatmeal, and the cashier girl forgot to ring up my oatmeal, but all was well. I wasn't really hungry, I was just really ordering to eat something.  LM had a ton of fun playing on the slides. The indoor play structure at our local McDonald's is wonderful.  At first LM didn't want to play, but after I joined in by sitting at the end of the plastic slide and calling his name he was all for it. The last time I did this, I hid by the side of the slide and pop out at him. He thought that was so hilarious. Soon after that a couple little boys came and started playing with him. I think that LM is now the age that other little kids want to come and play with him now. I think this maybe due to the fact that he now looks more like a little boy (and talks so well) instead of a baby.

After McDonald's I stopped by the bank and deposited my hubby's checks into the bank.  My new bank has such incredibly nice tellers comparing to where I was banking at before. The last thing that I want is a surely teller when I deposit my money into my account. 

We had to make a stop by the dollar store and pick up some wrapping paper for my little niece's presents. We also got a hula hoop and some bows.

When we got home we wrapped my little nieces presents and ate some left over pizza from last night.  I tried to spot clean my apartment just in case someone wanted to stop over after the party.  We got redressed and did our hairs, and walked out the door. That's when it occurred to me that I didn't have a card. So, back to the dollar store we went to. I seriously have a problem spending more than a dollar on a card for a four year old, this makes me truly grateful for this store. 

We stopped back by the dollar store and we ran in and got a card for our little niece.  We ran out. The man that works at the dollar store is really nice. His accent makes him sound like he is from Georgia, but I didn't have the courage to ask him. Primarily, because sometimes people sound like they have accents and they don't. Next time I am in there I will ask him.  Anyways, he such a nice older man and really takes pride in his work. That is really refreshing to see in Wisteria Lane where I live. I think that it might be an unsaid rule that if you don't make over 40k here that you can not take pride in your work. True, but sad. Very very sad.

I got to the roller skating rink, but initially I didn't know if it was the right place to go because the invitation said rolleramma 2 and the sign said rolleramma 1.  I went inside just to check, and it was the correct place.  I ran back to the car with LM and got our perfectly wrapper presents out to bring in.  I had to pay for  my skates because only children are covered in the skating parties.  LM had so much fun visiting his grandma, papa, uncles and aunts, all of his little friends. Everyone that had skates took him for a spin around the rink. It was so beautiful.  I skated around the rink holding LM and my little niece's and hands. I felt so happy.  Papa brought a gift for a little man, a bag full of new clothes and toys.  Grandma brought him a new little monster truck. He was so happy.

I think that I am a pretty good roller bladder. In fact this young woman came up and asked me if I wanted to race. I would have, but I had to look after my boy.  I told her I would have loved to, but I couldn't. This was actually a smart move, because when they did have the race she smoked on the rink. She would have been done while I was half way through. 

We played a racing game and the candy grab claw game, and skating around the practice rink a few times. 

I asked my mother in law if she would like to come over after the party, and she came over and we visited awhile.  All three of went out to dinner at Red Robin. I really enjoyed talking to her. I finally found out the reason for my hubby's friends divorce. My hubby wouldn't tell me, all he said was that he might have hit a few times. My mother in law told me the real reason was because my hubby's best friend was cheating on his wife in a long relationship.  I don't know but isn't that highly suspect that he wouldn't tell me that. Why wouldn't he tell me that. While my mother in law was telling me this Hubby called.  I had Alex pick up the phone, and when he handed it to me, I just hung up. I had not yet heard everything that my mother in law was telling me. I tried to call back several times after dinner was over, and hubby didn't call back.  He has yet to call back. Something is seriously highly suspect here.

One person that did call was my father in law. He called just to say that it was nice to see me, and that he was sorry that he didn't get to see me on his rounds when he was saying good bye. I chatted with him for a few minutes, and then drove home for a couple of  minutes.

As soon as I got home, I felt a certain kind of restlessness. I was not yet ready to settle down for the day, so I took my son to get ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery. He really enjoyed watching the girl make his ice cream. He keep on saying, "wooooooowwww." Too cute.

I called my friend Amy because her birthday is coming up, and I hadn't spoken to her in awhile.  She is doing great. Her autism support group is doing really well, and she is making money under the table. I told her one of my favorite expressions mind f*ck, which means to be so mentally bothered that you are almost incapacitated. This usually happens when someone else does it to you.  She thought that was the funniest thing she had every heard, and she promised that the word would be forever added to her vocabulary. On the way home, I picked up a the latest Zac Brown Band CD.

Then it was homeward bound. Little man and I took a shower, and then finished watch the movie, UP that we had started about a week ago.  Then it was tuck in time and bed for my sweetie. 

Now I am sitting here watching the final episode of Sex and the City. I am going to sit down and finish reading The Secret before bed.

I just feel so incredibly blessed today.  I couldn't have asked for a better day. I haven't had such a good day since the fun weekends that Little Man and I used to have when my hubby and I were separated.  I felt truly refreshed.

Mohawks, Plaid, and Closet-gate

Yesterday something almost bad happened. I had set my little man on the potty and I was pulling out the vacuum from the storage closet in the bathroom, and guess what- his little fingers got caught in the closet door. I didn't shut the closet all of the way, I noticed about half way that the door wasn't closing correctly. Then  I heard this wail- WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  His little fingers were stuck in the closet door. Automatically I started a code red freak out.  "Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm so sorry! Are you OK (shaking him in my arms)? Are you okay", I was then crying harder than he was. I took a look at his sweet little hand, and it had the impression of the door jam stuck in it. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  "It's okay little man, let me see your little hand" I wailed even harder. I flipped over and checked it out.  He had a little tiny cut on the inside of his finger. 

I ran into the kitchen and pulled out the 10 lb bag of ice cubes that had half way solidified into a solid block. " Come on ice!", I said as I began banging the bag as hard as I could on the counter, "Come on!"
I ran to him still sitting on the potty crying and gave him a ziplock bag of ice.

All I could think about is how I broke the sweet little fingers on his hand, and how he was going to grow up with developemental problems in his poor little right hand. I scooped him up, tossed off the old faithfull sweatpants and threw on some jeans." It's okay baby its ok!" At this point I was obviously crying harder than he was. 

I was getting our coats on so that we could take a trip to the local urgent care.  I asked him if he could bend his fingers, and he could.  I put his coat on and grab a old bleach rag out of the linen closet so that I could wrap the ice around his hand.  I rushed us out in the car.

I called my husband to tell him what had just happened. Sobbing on the phone, " Hubby, (my crying) I caught his sweet little hand in the door. I don't think its broken, oh wahhhhhh.."  After I hung up the phone and was rushing away to the urgent care, Little Man says to me, "Mama, please stop crying. It's ok. I'm ok Mama." He had stopped crying and was I obviously more upset at this point than he was.  I rushed him in urgent care and they got us right in and took x-ray of his little hand.

The doctor came in right away and read the x-ray. He was fine. At this point when I looked down at his hand and it didn't even look like it had been injured at all. Dr. Patel looks at me and says, " I think Mama has more pain that the little one does." I did have more pain.  I had cause pain to my sweetest little angel.
I had just moved to this city about 6 months ago, and there are a little bit of cultural difference. I had lived in a city the Capital City, where it was a much slower way of life, and people just liked to sit down and be friendly and talk to stranger.  This city of live in now is a strict upper middle class/ upper class society, where the sense of humor is quite different, to say the least.

When the nurse lead me back to the doctors examination room, I had told her what happened, and added a bit of my own Midwest dark sense of humor, " I know Mama just beat you up, huh." The nurse looked at me and got real serious. For a moment I was terrified. "No, I'm just joking. I have a really bad sense of humor." She smiled this weak smile back at me. Now, I know that joking about beating your kids is really taboo, but if I were in the Capital City they would have thought that was hilarious.  I guess now I can add that to my list of things that are taboo when you live in upper middle class suburbia. 

It was really difficult moving here last summer. It was a culture shock. I had moved from an area that was racial heterogeneous, and I really loved it that way. My son got to live with people of all ethnicity and lifestyles. I thought it was a wonderful way to live.  People were friendly. Sure, you might have to wait a little bit longer in line at the market, but when it was your turn you also got to have that five minute conversation with the cashier. Maybe that is what made everything so wonderful there. Capital City was really like Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream. I had become completely color blind living there for almost ten years.  I had also become accepting of every kind of lifestyle, because people in the Capital City did not live in fear, but were proud of the way the chose to live there life.

This town is completely different. It is almost as if there is a dress code. There isn't any diversity here. It is just a white landscape. Truthfully, when I see people of other ethnicity here in White Suburbia, I am so happy. Also, all these white dudes really like to wear plaid and wear mohawks. I don't understand. I guess that I just have to give this new culture some more time.

Yesterday before closet-gate, Little Man strung a whole string of little beads all by himself. I was so proud that he had the patience and that his fine motor control was so great.  I was so happy. I didn't want to help him, because I wanted the necklace to be all of him.

Whip It!

I've had a really great morning. The birds are chirping and the glorious sun is out.  I took little man to the library for story time, and it was a very pleasant experience.  He really enjoyed all of the stories and the music. The library programs that they have here for children are really exceptional, and the teacher is just awesome.  She is great, she really knows how to speak to a crowd of children (and parents) and get everyone excited to read.  He was playing with the other boys and girls, and it was so much fun for the both of us.

We got to the library about 20 minutes early, so that little man could play with the boxes of educational toys that they have. He chose a box of puzzles, and before we knew it there were three other little kids that sat down with us to do the puzzles. They were all so sweet. They were talking to me and putting their puzzles together, and it was really nice to see all of those happy faces. I really loved being around all of those happy smiling faces. They are all so sweet and innocent.  All of those happy smiling faces :).
When I got home I made a turkey and mozzarella grilled cheese sandwich.  The turkey was a week and a half old, and after I got the sandwiches made and took a bite, I thought it tasted a little gamey so I just threw them out and made LM a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  We split a Hostess Golden Cupcake. Then something miraculous happened, I told him that it was nap time and then he said I want to go by myself. And he did! I went to check in on him and give him a cup of water, and he was laying in bed perfectly with his blankets covering him in a perfect way. Oh heavens me! Thank God.

This Saturday night my hubby is going on a trip with his coworkers to a haunted sanitarium in Kentucky. This sounds like so much fun! He has been looking forward to it for the past few months.  I told him that he would have to get some of those poppers that you throw on the ground and they make sounds or perhaps a whoopee cushion or something. Then I made a joke about making a pan of marijuana brownies for everyone, but not telling them they are laced with pot. LOL. Okay, I wouldn't do that, but the thought is hilarious.

I sent an e-mail to this company that wanted to hire me last spring for one of the coolest mad scientist jobs.  This is the job I turned down for the promotion for the job that I was fired from. He sent me an email back saying that it was great to hear from me, and that if he has an opening that I would be the first one he would call. Oh, that makes me so happy. That man is such a nice put together man.  He really impressed me when I talked to him. I would love to work. When I went there for the interview, I already felt like I had worked there once, like deja vu. I hope this means that he will call me up and tell me that he does need someone after all.  That would be such a dream job. I would love working there. It would make everyday a fulfilling one.

This weekend is my little niece's roller skating bday party. She is going to be 4 years old. oh my god. I can't believe how the time flies.  She is such a big girl.  They are all getting so big. Our little ones are no getting so big! I love being able to watch every second of it. I rented the movie Whip It with Ellen Page. I really enjoy this roller derby movie.  I love Ellen Page. Anyone of her characters could be my best friend, except maybe that weird Canadian movie she made, does anyone know what I'm talking about?
Today is Friday so that means that I am going to spend an hour today looking for jobs while I watch my movie. I'm not going to stress myself out. I am going to stay positive and get the job done. 

This afternoon LM and I are going to go for a nice nature work, and read books for a minute. Then I want to string some beads with him, and then give them to my little niece as a birthday present. I am also going to try to finish The Secret. Today will be a wonderful day! If you are reading this please pray for my family.

Good Morning Sunshine.

Yesterday afternoon we had a blast. I decided that we would take a trip to our metro park, and blow some bubbles and play with the soccer ball. We first stopped by the dollar store and picked up a little three pack of bubbles of my little man's bubble machine.  While at the dollar store, we also picked up some fruit punch juice boxes and potato sticks.  Yum.  I drove all the way through the park and set off north on the park lands and found a small picnic area with swings.  There was an older couple there that were quite affectionate (in a nice way), but we made our way to the back of the open picnic area. It is so nice to see people so in love. I wonder if people really love each other that way if they are married? I hope its true. 

My little man and I had a ton of fun. Before we got to the site, he had already drank two of the little juice boxes.  I carried the bubbles, ball, and snacks to the back area and we picked out a picnic table in the sweet March sunshine.  We had so much fun. I would kick the ball and then we would go and chase after it. Little man thought it was sooo much fun. We must have sat out there and played with the ball for a good 30 minutes or half an hour.  We also played on the swings for a little while.  I tried to show Little Man how to pump his legs, but at this point of time, I don't know if the gross motor skills are up to par to add everything together to swing. The baby swings were our next stop, LM really wanted to swing in them, and I thought why not. No one else is here.  The giggles that came from him were so infectious that I started laughing as well.  It was just a whole lot of hehehehhehehheheheheh. hehehehhehe. ehhehehehehhe.  I would push him high into the sky and he would just. hhehehhehehe.  I would run around to the other side of the swing and push him again. ehhehehehheheh. Then back to the other side. heheheh.  I was so happy.

 The bubbles were our next activitiy. For LM's second birthday his grandma gave him this really cool bubble gun. It is amazing how many bubbles come out of it when you push the button. Then I had another moment as I tend to have where time stands still.  It was if the world was set on pause. All I could see what this sun light striking through LM's hair. The sweet toothy smile and the resonance from the cadence of giggles. I saw the bubbles suspended lofting in the air and blooming out of the machine. I felt the warmth of the sun warming my heart. It was indeed special. It was definitely a memory in the making.

After the park, we came home and ate grilled cheese sandwiches and beef stew for dinner while watching the movie, Up. We only got up to the part where he almost makes it to Paradise Falls and it was bed time. It had been a successful afternoon.

It is amazing how smart he is. Children are just amazing.  I am sure now that he knows his ABC's.  When he woke up from his nap, I had my laptop out and I asked him what all the letters where and he was able to correctly tell me what they were. What a blessing. There were a couple that he was unsure about like the he the D was an O. But, I can understand.

The hubby came home around 9:30 and I made his a fresh grilled cheese and gave him the left over of the beef stew that LM and I had previously enjoyed.  He seemed satisfied, then went on to the potato sticks that were left over from our Metro park adventure.  I thought he didn't like potato sticks for some reason, but I guess there is always something that you can learn from your partner. We watched Crocodile Dundee on AMC, which I thought was hilarious. I haven't seen that movie since I was way little. Also, might I add the actress in that movie is a serious hottie! Not only does she have a beautiful body, but beautiful eyes and face. 

It's really amazing how movies changed over time. Its as if the progressive nature of our country has been a great decline since the movie came out. There is a scene where a guy is acting doing a line of coke in a happy way. That would never fly in today's movies, especially a family movie.  I miss the montages of the 80's also.  There is nothing to make a movie special like some rocking Hewey Lewis and the News.  bong. bong. bong. gong. gong. (That's what 80's music sounds like to me.)  Also, Paul Hogan was kind of a hottie too.  I mean he's got a little head, but he's one of those little svelte muscley guys. I would have to say if I were that lady and I were single that I would be all over that.  LOL. I would just say give me some bush man. Also, I have heard that it is usually the little guys that are packing. At least that is the consensus of the all of my friends.

My friend C called me last night. She had broken up with her boyfriend about four months ago.  She has been devastated ever since. This man was the love of her life. She called me up crying and upset because she had just found out that she was pregnant.  Devastated, because her now ex does not want to be in a relationship with her, and she is terrified that she will be a single mom without a plan.  I love her so much. Talking to her is like talking to myself. I really hold her close to my heart. I talked to her for a little while, and then her parents rang in and my hubby came home so I let her go. I really hope the very best for her. It hurts me that she is in so much pain. I kept on telling her that everything is going to be OK, and that if she wants to have a child that it is not the end of the world, but really just the beginning. Honestly, I think she would make a great mother, and that having a child would help push her back in the way of achieving her dreams.

The first book that I have decided out of my four book pile is The Secret, I figured that it would be the most enlightening out of all of them.  There is quite a bit of truth in that. I have read through about 100 pages at this point, and I am really getting a lot out of it. I am especially getting a lot of the firm repetition of don't let your mind get to dark places. If your mind starts getting to a dark place, then here are the things that you can do so that you don't start feeling bad.  This is exactly what I need.  It also had a section in there that said everyday that you should say what you are thankful for.  Score! It also had a section on gratitude, and I think right now in my life that I really need to express more gratitude. I really need for everyone to know how much I appreciate them right now, especially after my 5 month pity fest. 
Speaking of people that I have to talk to and let them know how much I appreciate is my aunt.  When I was little, I spent every summer with her. I love her immensely, and I contribute half of my personality to her.  I haven't called her since Christmas, and I know she wants to talk to me. She is getting older, and it pains me that I haven't called her. Today, I will call her. I have made it official on my blog right now. I will call her today. I need to do it, and there is really no reason not to call her. I need to make a point to call everyone in my life that loves me. I need to let everyone know how much I appreciate them. 
Anyways, to start the day. We are eating cereal and watching cartoons right now, but we are going to go to story time, come home and review some letters and numbers, then lunch. Then after nap time I would like to take him on a little walk in nature. It is so important to me that he can make a connection with nature as soon as possible in his life.

Things I am thankful for today:

1. A car to drive
2. Food to eat
3. A wonderful son
4. A hardworking husband
5. Family that loves me
6. Great free books that I can read
7. Sweet kitty cats!
8. A smart little boy
9. My mandolin that someone gave me
10. That I had a good time watching Crocodile Dundee with my hubby
11. For the beautiful weather
12. For the clothes on my back
13. For the money that I do have in the bank
14. For wonderful friends that love me
15. The kindness of strangers when in need
16. For the telephone!
17. For my unemployment
18. For the Internet and cable
19. For happiness
20. For having a blessed life.

Sun, Glorious Sun.

This morning my little man and I went to run some errands. We stopped by our new bank, and conferred over I was reading all of their new statements correctly, we went to the market and got a gallon of milk and some new sun glass (we all have sensitive eyes in our family), and then we went to the playground to see if anyone was there. And they were there! Tons of kids. I guess the other city folk really enjoy the nice 40 degree weather as well.

Us poor snow people. Look, no one is even weather jackets (except for me.)  We also stopped by the library and my little man was very good this time. I wanted to check out some books to help me with my new five year plan. My plan was to read one book of each these categories a month: Investing, Money management, parent/ kids, and spirituality.  So I got the following books: Suze Orman Women and Money, America's Cheapest Family, Telling Stories to Children, and The Secret. I know you just saw the Secret and thought is that really spirituality? I beg to differ because it is a way to look at the world in a different way.  I have seen the movie before and was sincerely intrigued by it, which meant when I saw this book that it was a little too tempting to pass up. Each book is on average 200 pages, which means that I should be able to get through all of these books in about a week.  A couple of them look like easy reads.

 I was wondering while going through the investment books, are books that are a few years old really already outdated? The economic landscape seems to me that these books are now warranted as useless. I don't know though. I guess any book is better than no book.  I caught a few minutes of Suze Orman's last TV special, in it she said that everything that she has taught in the past is incorrect and that with today's new economic horizon, that we must invest differently. I will still read this book because I am sure there is a massive amount of good knowledge in it. 

The bank called me like 10 times this morning. It is probably because we have an overdraft in that account. Maybe they are calling to alert us? Trust me bank, I know. There is nothing I can do about it. I was going to answer the next call, but it looks like that for now that they have given up.  All I could say is, ' Hey, I don't have any money right now.  You are just going to have to wait like me. Your charging me ten dollars a day to have that overdraft on my account along with all of the other fees, so what's it to you, you're making money on this. Oh, yea, and by the way if you would like me to deposit money sooner, maybe you can give me a job. That way I can work free for a couple of days just to pay back what I owe you in fees. ' On second thought, I'm sure that they get this quite a bit.

I really have a lot of sympathy for people whose job it is to call on the phone and collect.  They are just trying to pay their bills too. The good thing is that we do not have any debt at all.  So hoorah to us. I will gladly take paying these fees knowing that this is the money season and that we will have more than enough money to pay for whatever we need. Winter is just a hard time for sales in the great white north (finding a job too.) 

I feel so blessed right now to be able to sit her and type this out. It really is a blessing to me. It really helps me to think through everything that I am feeling. ..... Dear Not So Private Diary..... I am sitting here by my dining room window listen to the birds sing and the wind blow through the branches that are yet to have leaves. Life is good. Woosah. Woosah.

If anyone reads this, I would like to thank you, and say that it would be very kind of you to say a prayer for my family and I.

That's What She Said.

Yesterday all my troubles were so far away now... now I'm looking for another good day... Oh I believe in another good day.. My husband was in a good mood yesterday when he came home, which I am thankful for. He was also in a good mood when he left for work this morning. This makes me very happy.
I was happy yesterday, and felt quite liberated yesterday after concocting my five year plan. I am excited about going on that journey with my plan. Check and check on happiness!
I was two minutes late in calling MARVIN (which is the unemployment call in number for our great white north state), so I called first thing this morning at 7am. That really sucks because I really needed money deposited in that account ASAP. My cut off time for calling in was 6pm, but I got distracted making dinner and called at 6:02. I was shut down. That means I will get paid on Monday instead of Friday, hopefully the bank will count when a check is deposited instead when it is cleared when depositing funds into an overdrawn account.
I woke up this  morning in a good mood despite the fact that my little man woke up in the middle of the night from having a bad dream, because he wanted to watch, "Dora." I told him that he was just having a dream, and that if he wanted to in the morning that he could watch Dora the Explorer. I rarely venture from the Disney Channel, so a change over to watch Nickelodeon Cartoons is quite an event.  I just really like the programming on the Disney Channel, except they have a new show, The Pirates of something something. It's suppose to be a take on Peter Pan and Captain Hook, I think the problem with this show is that it is made for  a little guy that is a little bit older and bigger than mine.   The plot lines circle around Captain Hook being generally surely about things and stealing things, and not understanding when the kids - Peter Pan's friends I assume- do something nice for him.  I don't know. It's really not my favorite.  Today, I switched to one of the local PBS channels to try out their programming. They had Curious George and The Cat in the Hat.  I don't understand how either of these programs are educational either. Well, maybe the Cat in the Hat helps children to think logically? However, I hardly see any good out of the Curious George cartoon. 
When I was picking up from the daddy/little man play date in our house yesterday, my mind started to go in awkward places. I started to think about how I stopped going to story time twice a week, and now only go once a week. I stopped the Tuesday classes because my little man has a really hard time sitting still, and I think that it is really disruptive to the small class he was going to on Tuesday. On Friday, his class is much larger- maybe 30 kids, so it is much easier to get around the inch worm activities/exercises he does instead of listening during story time.  Anyways, the last couple times I was in there the lady that teaches the Tuesday class wasn't very friendly with me that she usually is. Maybe she is taking it personally? I hope not. Maybe I should tell her that it's not her fault and that it is a combination of trying to get everything done, and my little man not being able to sit down and be still.  Maybe that would make it better.
 But a funny thing started happening, I was starting to think if for some reason if the library ladies looked at me and secretly were talking about how I look like I have more serious mental problems than I do. Like a schizo or something. I could almost see the three of them talking behind the desk. 'Have you seen her', one of them asks. ' Everytime I see her I am almost certain I pinpoint what her problem is. I just don't think that she is right in the head,' the other one comments. ' I think that maybe she is just a little anti-social, or just only likes certain people', the last librarian says.
Okay, looking back I know that just saying that is narcissistic. This is a huge chance that they probably have never said anything like that, let alone anything at all. However, it really got my mind spinning. Do they really see something wrong with me?  LOL. I just have to relax.  If anything I am just another parent to them.  I guess all that I can do is talk to the Tuesday teacher when I see her next and tell her that I get really frustrated because my little man won't sit still and that it makes me sad because I think that if he could sit still that he could really enjoy her class.  I think maybe that would patch things up, at least with the neuroses in my mind. 
I really noticed and stopped my simple line of thinking from going to the evil plotting librarians onto something else. Oh goodness, the places where my mind goes to sometimes. I am really proud of myself that I was able to withdraw my thinking process away from that before I got trapped into it and have it drag down my mood.
I woke up to the glorious sun shinning. It Thursday, which means that my husband works until 9 pm or later tonight. That really makes for quite a long day!  That means I have to find somethings to fill our 12 hour day so that my son feels fulfilled without seeing his father. I would like to take full advantage of these first days of sun, and go out and do something wonderful.  When it is warm out, I like to take my son downtown behind the store front line and go to a kind of magically walk way that our small city has made around a pond. My little man really enjoys walking on its large arching wooden walkways, and looking at the large metal sculptures reaching out of the water.  When it is really warmer out and all the snow and ice have melted, I want to take him on this fun large wooden fortress playground that the city has built. It is one of the coolest playgrounds I have ever seen. Between the multiple sets of wooden playgrounds, there are large play firetrucks, chimes, swings, tire swings, hiding places. It really has everything that a little imagination would need to start firing away. Since the ducks are just starting to come back, I would like to bring a few slices of bread to feed the ducks.  Last fall around the middle of October, I took him out to feed the ducks, and there was a mass exodus of all fowl life to where we were passing out the bread.  At first my little man was terrified. Encircling him were ducks of all sizes and colors, then the domineering Canadian Geese came through in their posse quacking and snapping. It was so much fun.  That really was a good time.
Today I would like to go on a walk, maybe at the local metro park. Then we can feed the ducks. I can through some letters in there. I have to stop and get a gallon of milk and some juice. Then I guess the other three or four hours are whatever I want to fill it with. I wish that I could hang out with one of my friends, but I don't think that that is possible because we are out of funds until my delayed unemployment check comes through (oops :( ).  I have about $150. That's not a whole lot of money. I am just hoping that my gardening class that I am going to teach next week has a full house. That would be amazing. I would first pay all my bills, and then buy something nice and little for my husband, who works so hard everyday and hardly does anything for himself. 
Yesterday, my husband told me that all of the salesmen at his dealership quit. The owner of the set of dealerships really thinks he is a mafia don, no joke.  He is this Italian guy who even quotes and talks like the Godfather (of course he doesn't reference back, but I've seen those movies enough to tell).  This man is just ridiculous. I think the thing that is the most ridiculous about some of these dealerships is that they all sell this lie to the salesmen that they can make 200k plus if they put their minds to it. No, they can't. Maybe if they worked at Porsche.  I believe that it is really just a sales technique on their part to get their employees to sell more to make them more money.  This is the honest truth.   Anyways, back to my husband, their are now only 4 salesmen for the entire dealership. There are quite a hefty amount of cars new and used on the lot, and with the busiest car sales season coming up, there are really going to hopefully face a lot of money, and unfortunately a lot of time at work.  I hope that my husband can just do whatever makes him happy. I would never ask to take too much from him. 
I have to start the day. So, if you are reading this please say a prayer for my family.

Things I am thankful for today.
1. That my son is such a wonderful little boy
2. That my husband is happy today
3. That I have food that I can put on the table
4. That I can go to my little nieces birthday party
5. That I can go roller skating with my little man at my little nieces party!
6. That despite the fact that I am unemployed, that I can spend a little time each day working on myself.
7. That I have completed a five year plan
8. That I have wonderful kitties, especially my little kitty who is the sweetest fur ball ever
9. That I have friends that can help me if I am in need
10. That maybe my husband can make more money because there are less salesmen
11. That I have a car to drive
12. That I am in good physical condition
13. That my son and husband are in good physical condition
14. That my little man is learning his ABC's
15. That we have been accident free for two days on the potty! Score for mamas!
16. That I have the internet and that I am able to write on this blog
17. That my mother is happy
18. That I get to watch my little man grow in to a middle size man and then into a big man

Amen!

The Five Year Plan

So I finally sat down and wrote a five year plan. The first plan was to figure out how to write a five year plan. LOL. I googled it, of course, thank you google. And found some great web articles on how to write a 'no fail five year plan'.  I decided to put down the dirty dishes and the cleaning for once and sit down and make a five year plan. I first named out my goals:
1. Apply to graduate school
2. Buy a house
3. Have a happy 7 year old
4. Learn how to invest in the stock market (I hope that there still is a stock market)
5. Write a fiction novel. ( I have a great idea I have been kicking around in my head for the past two months)
6. Stay in good health and shape
7. Have more kids
8. Start a non profit
9. Start my own small business
10. Visit every state park in this great state we call the great white north
11. Visit at least 3 national parks outside our state
12. Develop my spirtuality
13. Save 10k
14. Get a good fitting job

I think that is a very good 5 year list.  I then sat down and listed what it would take to accomplish each one of those above 5 year goals. I numbered them. 1... 2...3... How many ever of those lovely numbers that it takes to accomplish any one of the goals. Then I wrote out a 5 year calendar and marked what I wanted accomplished and by what time.  Right now, I am about to have a party, because I did all of that. Hallejulah! The first year I filled in detail which includes things like reading books on money management, parenting, religion, etc.
I am very excited about this. I know since I know have writen this out that I will be able to follow it.  I just have to make myself do it every month. If I don't do it then my goals might fall behind. Or something like that. Five years is really a long time to think ahead about. In five years I will be 32. I will still be young and active and have a whole life ahead of me. I wonder what the world will be like 5 years from now. When I graduate college 5 years ago, it was a completely different place. I was a different person, the world was different, the war in Iraq had really only just began, the economy was not as bad, and my favorite- anybody could get credit.
Now the world is much more different. It's harder to get credit, jobs are scarce, the world is at war, and the world is changing every single day.   There is at least one MAJOR natural disaster every spring time.  The way that we all communicate is different as well. There was myspace when I graduated, but all that stupid stuff that people put all over their profile that made it take 5 minutes to load was really cumbersome.  Facebook is making this world a completely different place. I actually just read an article about how people are now just starting to turn away from facebook because of privacy. I don't blame them, I have had my own serious (very serious) issues that have arisen from the use of facebook.  To comprehend what this world will be like is almost mind boggling to me.  Who will be our next president? What will happen with our country and our democracy? Will the world really end in 2012- lol. This world is such an unpredictable place. I think that I would almost do best if I unplug my friend the TV from the wall and live out the next 5 years in ignorant bliss. If something major happens that I need to know about, I'm sure that someone will tell me. 
I am very excited about my 5 year plan. One goal that I have one there that I was not able to develope fully was the whole thing about finding a excellent job. I am really just going to hold off on that one. I am just trying my best to turn the corner on happiness, and I have made it a personal goal that I have done enough job shopping for the week to turn me into a weary depressed mess of a person. I will look again on friday after I take a healthy dose of Xanax. JK. I don't take Xanax. anymore.
My five year plan is really a personal plan. It does not include my husband. It should, but he is at a breaking point in his life that he can't even crack the surface on his current problems enough to think a little outside of the box. I don't blame him though. This world is a tough place.
I just really hope and pray that I can make all of the right decisions and all of the right things. I really wish that I could talk to someone that could give me advice on how to make my life from here.  My parents can't really help me, neither can anyone else. It really seems like since I became an adult and now have a family, that no one wants to give me advice anymore.  I just got to use my own smarts.

Thank God for the Sunshine

Something miraculous is continuing to happen here in the great white north.  The sun is getting warmer! The real yellow ball in the sky! It returns. If I were a native American dancer, I would for sure be doing the returning of the sun dance. LOL.  The snow is still outside in patches right now, but it will go very soon.  Checking the weather, there aren't any snow storms, or flurries coming our way for a while! Hoorah!!! I am so happy. This make so much difference! :)
My husband came home yesterday about as depressed as can be. He is being beat down by the man right now.  He can't seem to get ahead at work, and he can't seem to get any help.  He needs to sell a certain amount of units to make enough money, and right now he is really stressing out. I might have to hang out with one of the car widow wives and see if I can see what I can do for my husband within the wives club. lol. I feel so bad for him. He never went to college, and really has only done sales his entire life, so that really leaves not a lot of choice for him in his mid 30's. Going back to school maybe? But I would imagine that would be quite intimidating for him at his age, if it is intimidating at my age. Thankfully,  I was feeling a little less depressed yesterday to help him feel better, I guess.
Today my little man woke up later because of the day light savings time. It was nice to sleep in for a little while and relax before the chaos started to happen. I woke up early to see if I could find any jobs, but alas, none.  The market here where I live is the worst in the country. That means that there really isn't much out there for me. I researched traditional midwifery schools again today, but the $3,200 is a little (or a lot) out of my reach right now, and scholarships aren't available for this program.
My class for this weekend was pushed back until next weekend. The coordinator told me that he would have a full class ready for me. That would be nice. That would be a cool $500. That would be nice to have!  I was ready this weekend, but I am willing to wait for a full class to do my thing. There are a lot of people out there that want a indoor gardening certification, especially since medical marijuana is legal here. I don't go into growing marijuana at all. I just cover the enough basics so that everyone has enough knowledge to just put them above to have enough confidence to know what they are doing. After all most the time all we need is a little confidence, right?
I have been struggling with teaching my little man the ABC's, but this morning he was able to correctly pick out the right letters for the sounds. It is most definitely one of those Aha Oprah Moments. :)
Children really amaze me. I can't believe how they want to learn the ABC and everything else. It is so amazing to me. I can tell that these days will be the best days of m life when I look back later on. 
My food blog is starting to have a steady amount of viewers now. Not a lot of viewers, but enough that makes me happy to post to the blog. I just need to keep on adding content. I imagine that once I get to 100 recipes that I will have a more steady viewership.  It really surprises me that half of the viewers actually come from outside of here in the states. I get a lot of Asian and European viewers. I am happy for every single one of them that view my blog.

I am being really sensitive right now to notice my depression triggers before I let them get set off. I am going to continue to do this for the end of the week. It's really hard to do, but I guess its really hard to do for people who are addicts as well.  Maybe I need to make an inner circle outer circle behavior list of things that trigger my depression. I know that I can manage this disease.  Some days its just so hard. I know that this whole job search thing is a huge trigger. I can do it for about 20 minutes and after that I am tore up inside.  I think its just thinking about working for another douche bag company that makes me scared. I have to realize that not all companies are like that (this is kind of like a break up, right?). It's still just so hard when I devoted two years of my life to a company to have them do that BS to me, at least do that BS without warning.
Another one of my triggers is being broke as I am.  I need to  make a list of things that I can do that are inexpensive and slowly go down the list and accomplish these things.  The weather is a nice 40 degrees outside, so that makes the activities list grow considerably. 
One other trigger of mine is not knowing what tomorrow will bring. I have yet to make a plan. I can't really be hard on myself for not making a plan over night, a real plan needs real conscientious thought.  So, I guess while I am making a plan that I need to just be happy and recognize all of the blessings that I have today. 
Another trigger is my husband's stress. He has never handled stress well (me neither!).  So when I see him stressing and being angry, it really affects my depression. I need to realize here that he is in control of himself and not me. If he chooses to be angry, and resentful about his life and not accept any help, then it is him that needs to fix it.  Not me. I can be there for him, and supply all that I can give to him without giving too much, but not I have to meditate on what the line is. I think it is the Gibral Khalil in the "Prophet" that said that love should ebb and flow like the tide. That one should never give too much or take too much.  And that each person in a partnership should maintain a separate life, and that in doing so strengthens the partnerships. I love this book. If no one has read it, I highly recommend it.
Today my main concerns are doing things that will educate and help my son in life. I am always afraid that I am not doing the right thing. I read books. I just read the Mr. Rogers book on parenting. He said that play is very important and so is eating at the dinner table and having a conversation. So, I have made a point that my little man always has time for thoughtful play and that we always eat at the table away from the TV. The truth behind it is that my little man is much happier always eating at the table away from the TV. TV is so thoughtless sometimes.  I do have a mandate everyday that the TV is off at 10am no matter what. No TV, sir!
Today, I want to take my little man on a walk. Then maybe we make necklaces out of large wooden beads, and maybe play with some play dough. And then, of course time to go over his letters, again. :)
These are the things that I am thankful for today.

Things that I am thankful for:

1. The sunshine
2. The snow is melting
3. My little man is learning his letters!
4. My little man is going potty all by himself!!
5. I have enough food in the kitchen to feed my family for the next few days
6. That I should have a full class to teach next weekend
7. That I will be able to attend my little nieces birthday party instead of teaching a half full class
8. That I everyday that I work hard to get out from under the cloud of depression
9. That I enjoy cooking and am able to do it everyday.
10. That I am able to share my food blog with people around the world
11. That I still get unemployment even though I can't find a good job
12. That I have a roof over my head
13. That all my bills are main bills are paid
14. That there are people out there that would like to hang out with me :)
15. That I have a mother and father who enjoy my company, despite everything
16. That despite my depression, I am in excellent physical shape
17. That I have clothes to wear on my back
18. That I have running water, a clean home, and everything that I need to make me happy
19. That I realize that life is what you make it
20. That the world is so big that it is a forgiving place
21. That just like fall turns into winter into spring and refreshes the earth, that I am also refreshed and renewed.
22. That I have one of the most beautiful gifts in the entire world my son.

Alright, this is what I call progress! Digging myself out, one day at a time. I think that there should be a DAA, like a depression addicts anonymous, and that we should get coins for everyday that we aren't depressed. If there were such a thing, I would get my first 24 hour coin. Hoorah to me! I shall celebrate with a cold glass of water. If you read this, please pray for me and my family.